What if I was the true master of my destiny?
Sure to inspire every common existentialist concerned with free will, this is an idea that has plagued and pleased me at varying moments.
Fly away to explore Australia just because I can? Heck YEAH I'm doin' that!
Overindulging in sweets and carbs? ….Um, that's just my…(insert excuse)
List of seemingly-legit personal excuses:
Which are really just covers (and sometimes seeds) for the personal faults that would not stand up to the scrutiny of modern necessity, including:
Lack of Boundaries
These characteristics eventually lead to the same place: a dry well of personal motivation. And maybe you don't need pleasure, engagement, and learning, but I sure as hell do. Yet I keep myself from it!
I choose to fill my calendar to the brim, I choose to watch another YouTube video instead of sleep, I choose to eat the sugary thing (and feel like a beach ball after), and I choose to justify it all by telling myself it doesn't matter. Or my other favorite: I'll fix it later.
But if it doesn't matter, then shouldn't I make the choices that bring me joy?
Last weekend I finally got sick of making excuses to myself to avoid Vertical Adventures, the rock climbing gym. Where I could exercise pain free, by myself or with friends, meet like-minded people and move my body in new and ever-varying shapes. Where I really WANTED to BE.
Also on the gym floor was a guy in a wheelchair. He kept attempting a 5.8, his disjointed hand gestures and frustrated sounds suspended with his body in midair every time he fell. Then his triumphant cry echoed through the cavernous . As I turned my head to see his descent from the ceiling, it was his well-earned conservative grin that hovered in space. He is officially a badass. With biceps to match. 💪
What's stopping me?